Irish America should demand a World Cup reprieve for The Boys In Green
If it’s good enough for Italy, it’s good enough for us
Many years ago, before he had a motorway service station named after him and ahead of one of his many triumphant visits here, Barack Obama remarked that half of America is Irish and the other half wants to be.
Nobody really contradicted him so it must be true. And we should hope it is if we want to cling to a World Cup lifeline because we need either or both of those two halves of Irish America to play a game of political football right now with current President Trump, his many special envoys and anyone who can get us back on football’s biggest stage.
It’s not as far-fetched as it sounds even if all of Troy Parrott’s good work in Budapest was undone in Prague last month and Ireland exited the USA 2024 saloon at the European play-off semi-final stage.
See, all we need is a bit of clout and a lot of neck, both of which can come from any of those in America who are either Irish or want to be. All we have to do is to take a leaf out of the Italian book. A cheeky Italian book.
Now you’d think the Italians were in the same boat as us in terms of the upcoming World Cup finals. They did beat Michael O’Neill’s Northern Ireland in their play-off semi but then managed to lose the final on penalties to Bosnia and Herzegovina.
Down and out? Far from it. On Thursday, the US Special Envoy Paolo Zampolli told the Financial Times and the BBC that he has suggested to President Trump that Italy replace Iran at the World Cup because of the current carry-on in the Middle East.
He even went so far as to say that he is an Italian native and that it would be a dream to see the Azzurri at a US-hosted tournament. He mustn’t have been in the Giants Stadium in 1994 so.
Here’s the best bit though. Zampolli is a former modelling agency boss, property trader and socialite and allegedly introduced Trump to Melania, now the First Lady of the United States.
He definitely has a bit of clout with Donald. So take note when he says that with four World Cups to their name, Italy ‘have the pedigree to justify inclusion.’
That’s it sorted so. Aside from the fact that they are currently at war with the USA, Iran’s footballers have never won the World Cup. So they shouldn’t be there in the first place. No pedigree.
The same theory applies to New Zealand, Belgium and Egypt last time I checked, the three countries scheduled to play Iran this summer.
So Zampolli should have a word with Donald and ask him to remove the three of them as well, by association with Iran thanks to the World Cup draw.
Then, if Irish America applies enough pressure, he can propose that Ireland join Italy in the replacement teams category, regardless of the fact that we can’t qualify for World Cups anymore, never mind dream about winning them.
It’s justifiable. There are as many Irish as Italians in America and Donald loves County Clare. Like the Italians, we’re Catholic by and large as well so that will appease the Pope after his recent spat with the President.
We’ll even bring the party, inflatable shamrocks and all, to Los Angeles and Seattle where Iran are currently scheduled to play.
It’s a no-brainer from where I’m sitting even if FIFA, the Italian Government and most of the world’s football fans are already laughing at Zampolli and this mad idea.
You don’t think it can happen? This is a World Cup owned by Donald Trump and Gianni Infantino. Anything is possible. Literally, anything.
See you in America, Troy.